NakedCity Wichita

just say “no” to tv

Posted on 26. May, 2011 by Carrie in op-ed

words > SHARON DURMASKIN

I’ve decided, for a few reasons, to get rid of cable TV. Since there are only four shows I can’t live without seeing (House, Fringe, Harry’s Law and Burn Notice), I’ve decided I can just as easily watch them online. Free.

It’ll be odd not having TV. I’ve been watching literally since I was born.  My mother watched soap operas when she was pregnant with me so I frequently tell people I’ve been watching TV since I was in the womb. When I was a kid TV was the penultimate babysitter; mom plopped me down in front of American Bandstand, The Donna Reed Show, Leave it To Beaver, Father Knows Best or one of her soap operas and I was a happy girl. Since I wasn’t really encouraged to read, music and TV were my companions.

I remember the early days of TV when some shows were performed live, all were in black and white with few commercials, and there were only four channels—NBC, ABC, CBS and PBS. We changed the channel by actually getting up off our tuchas and walking across the room to turn the knob. The volume was adjusted this way also. Frequently, antennas were used to help the picture come in more clearly and many people had giant antennas on their roofs. Setting up a TV involved bringing it home and plugging it in—the 1950s version of plug ‘n play.

Watching my mother’s soap operas are some of my earliest TV memories. When I was in elementary school, I’d walk home for lunch and arrive in time to catch the last five minutes of Search for Tomorrow, which was on for 15 minutes. Next was Guiding Light, also on for 15 minutes. I knew when the credits for GL were running it was time to start walking back to school. At night I’d watch The Ed Sullivan Show (yes I do remember when The Beatles were on for the first time, thank you for asking), Gidget, Bonanza, Hawaii Five-O, Lucille Ball, The Red Skelton Show, Star Trek, Doctor Kildaire and a host of others. All Red Skelton had to do was walk out on stage and I’d start to laugh, Lucy’s Vitameatavegamin still makes me laugh so hard I cry, and I was pissed off at those teenage girls in the Ed Sullivan Show audience who were screaming at The Beatles because I couldn’t hear the music!

By this time we had a new-fangled invention called color TV. My grandfather from Florida bought us our first color TV. It was a huge console piece of furniture that took up half the living room. I’ll never forget seeing the NBC peacock in full color for the first time. And to make it even better, it had a remote control; the TV, not the peacock. Of course you had to plug it into the TV for it to work and the chord wasn’t very long, but hey, it was a remote! It was about the size of a Star Trek: The Next Generation tricorder with old fashioned buttons. When I turned 13 I got my own TV for my bedroom. I could lay in bed for hours watching shows like The Brady Bunch, M*A*S*H, Emergency, Starsky & Hutch, Mary Tyler Moore, Hart To Hart, Sonny And Cher and others I won’t embarrass myself by naming. OK, you twisted my arm: I watched Bewitched because Elizabeth Montgomery was hot! There. I said it.

I’ll spare you the 80s, 90s and beyond, but I will share that I’m still a geek, a nerd, a music fanatic and I traded Elizabeth Montgomery for Karen Carpenter, whom I’ve since traded for Olivia Newton-John. Suffice it to say, I’ll miss TV but I’m looking forward to reading and listening to music. But if I get the shakes from withdrawal, the lounge in my apartment complex has a TV.

Tags: american bandstand, burn notice, father knows best, fringe, harry's law, house, leave it to beaver, mary tyler moore, nakedcity gallery, nakedcity magazine, sharon durmaskin, the donna reed show